I am the friendly old guy that tells people he meets along the avenues “good morning,” offers a nod or smiles. A good friend of mine from upstate New York said one of the hardest things she had to get used to when she moved to the south were strangers talking to you in the grocery store line. She said if you did that where I am from, people would think you are crazy. So, please forgive my intrusions, I am not crazy, just proud of my southern eccentricities. I am trying to acknowledge that we are human and need to be greeted. I am just a big, tall guy (hence the moniker, BTG) who does not mistake kindness for weakness.
I was reading a blog which is devoted to capturing acts of kindness. In this stressed out, less civil world in which we live, acts of kindness are needed more than ever. A recent entry was meaningful as the author made a difference to an older man, walking along in pain, merely with a smile. Here is a link to this encounter.
Since I am an Old Fart, I have been greeting people like this for all of my adult life. Based on my anecdotal experience of tens of thousands of greetings, the lion share of people will respond in kind. I do get the silent treatment on occasion, but I make up for it by offering their missing part of the unstated conversation in my head – “Thanks for asking, I am doing great. Have a nice day.” Since I do a lot of hiking and walking on trails, I fully understand the need for a lone female jogger not to engage in too much conversation with a lone male on a trail. I get that. But, many will smile or nod their heads. As a needed sidebar comment, I would also encourage female joggers to not jog alone, unless it is a well-frequented trail. I worry when I see a lone jogger on a woodsy trail.
Yet, I also realize that some people need a “hello” more than others. There was segment on CBS Good Morning last week about how that “hello” can make a difference. So many people are depressed or lonely, that a greeting can boost their spirits. I would add that in working with homeless people, many feel less valued and appreciate even the smallest of gestures. Treating people as human beings is important. There is a story of a pedestrian who spoke to a homeless person on the street and he started crying. He said, “you are the first person to speak to me in a long while.”
I was walking on a college campus the other day and there were some people using the college facilities for a community meeting, but by their actions gave me the impression they did not feel they belonged there. They looked down when I passed. So, when I spoke to say good afternoon, it startled them. This made me sad, as it should not be this way. I must confess, it made me think less of this college for my daughter, as it gave me the impression that these guests were made to the feel this way. Fortunately, she deselected the college for other reasons.
So, if you are less inclined to do this, do yourself a favor and try greeting people for a day and see what happens. See if it makes you look at others differently. Remember the responses and how they made you feel. Look for conversation pieces. T-shirts, ball caps, brightly colored shoes, funny handbags are all fair game and people usually enjoy being noticed. Plus, you just might be greeting someone who truly needs it. Good day.