A few funnies

My close friend Frank is Catholic and one of our annual traditions during our teen and college years was going to midnight mass. The priest would invariably wish everyone a Happy Easter as well, as he knew he would not see some until next Christmas Eve.

This same priest presided over another close friend’s father’s funeral last month. Having not seen the priest for thirty years, he looked the same as he did before, with a full head of thick hair. He must be in seventies, so I commented on his youthful look to my wife. She said what do you expect, he is not married.

Speaking of looks, my wife and I have long been fans of Tina Turner. Turner was performing in her sixties and still had a dancer’s pair of legs. When I commented to my friend Don that I hoped to look that good when I am her age, he correctly quipped you don’t look that good now.

As my hair has thinned, my older brother has been able to keep more of his on his head. When his daughter hollered across a quiet room, Uncle Keith, how come my Dad has more hair than you do, I responded because his wife does not spend as much as mine does. My wife agreed with my assessment.

Speaking of Easter, my oldest son’s Godfather Joe attended a large Easter egg hunt with us one year. Since the older kids would aggressively gather most of the eggs, Joe would be off to the side guarding a few eggs for my small son to find. It was comical to see him diplomatically tell eight year olds there were no more eggs here, so my son could find a few.

After college, one of our close friends was dating a woman named Lark, while another was dating a woman named Robin. Our friend Randy assessed the names out loud to both and added, it looks like I need to find me a girl named Con-dor, accentuating each syllable.

Randy always enjoys a good joke, yet sometimes he has to let it sink in. Going to  a game, Frank and I were chatting with Randy in the backseat about the lack of success of the junior varsity basketball team coached by Pete Poore. Frank said what do you expect when you have Poore coaching. We both chuckled at the pun and then about a full minute later Randy roars with laughter – poor coaching he shouts.

A final story relates to my old boss who was working late. He had to reach someone who he knew was also working late, but had stepped away from his desk. A late night cleaning crew member answered the constantly ringing phone and my friend went into detail of what he needed. The man said sir, I told you as much as I know, when I said hello.

On that note, I will say goodbye.

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4 thoughts on “A few funnies

  1. Note to Readers: The author of the last story has many to choose from. I have shared earlier about the time he was riding on a mountainous road with a business colleague outside of San Francisco. They were trying to find this company’s headquarters and were lost. They came upon a bicycle rider and he slowed but did not stop as he gave them directions with one arm pointing.

    He lost control and ran off the side of the road. The guys stopped and ran over to the edge and the guy was sprawled out on his bicycle ten feet below on a ledge. When they looked down, he was still explaining how to get there gesturing with his arms. They said forget that, are you alright? He was, but he was one helpful and tough rider.

  2. My friend Frank, who is quite a good athlete, but not a gun afficionado was working in a sporting goods store. A man asked why a certain rifle was more expensive than another one. Frank picked up the rifle and gave rote answers why this rifle was more expensive. The guy chuckled and said, but that is the cheaper rifle. Oops.

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