A man won’t be shot while doing the dishes

Staying married takes effort. The same could be said about any relationship. If you don’t work at it, it won’t last. The title is a funny, but true metaphor that will keep you married – if you do the dishes, even if only periodically, you at least will survive another day and not get shot. There are two messages in this saying – share the load and keep your sense of humor. Since we need a break these days, let me focus on the humor.

Comedian Tom Arnold had the funniest line which seems to apply to our household. When asked by the women on “The View” about how long does a physically romantic interlude last, he replied “thirty minutes.” When the women were surprised at his answer, he clarified, “yes, five  minutes of foreplay, five minutes of sex and twenty minutes to get all the pillows off the bed.” My wife and I roared with this answer as we have so many decorative pillows that take up more than 1/2 the bed.

Speaking of beds, in our house the last one up makes the bed. I sincerely try to make up the bed like my wife does, but apparently I fall short of perfection. My wife sighs and then pulls, smoothes and tugs to remedy my effort. My guess is my female readers who are or have been married are nodding yes as they read this. My wife tends to arise later, so it may this very reason. Or, it could be the first one up has to feed the cat and dog, make the coffee and get the paper.

There is one more chore with the cat, who we found out is diabetic last spring. He is doing well, but each morning and evening, we have to give the cat insulin. So, a common question in our house is strange, “Did you shoot the cat?” He will often come to us after eating and we will pet him, then give him his insulin. Yet, he will sometimes vamoose if he senses something is up or if the dog chases him away. Herding a cat is an art form.

The sense of humor thing keeps us honest. We often laugh at ourselves and feel open to teasing. Watching shows and movies are always interesting if they have a sad event. I will tear up with any scene where a parent/ child moment occurs over a tragedy or reunion. My wife will ball over any extended illness scene having lost her brother to Leukemia. So, we tend to tease each other about our sappiness. My wife likes to joke how I try to tactically wipe a tear away without her noticing, which I usually fail to achieve. I will asking “are you crying?” “No,” is often her answer through tears.

Share the load, laugh a lot. And, a well placed hug or caress never hurts




17 thoughts on “A man won’t be shot while doing the dishes

  1. I think with a little sensitivity even in a sad moment it is possible to make someone smile. I love how you both achieve that and I like this too, taking sappiness with some humor! We cannot change what happened but with a laughter in between, we are getting some strength back to bear it.

  2. Note to Readers: I had my better half in stitches when I saw some beautiful oranges on the table in advance of a baby shower we are hosting. I said these oranges are light, seconds before I realized they are not real. She felt so badly, she bought some fresh oranges the next day.

    • Janis, I have a kindred spirit. The movie that gets me most is at the end of “Field of Dreams” when Kevin Costner’s asks his Dad for a game of catch. Whoop. Keith

  3. Dear Keith,

    This post made me smile.
    It sounds wonderful to be able to laugh, shed a few tears with loving hugs and with your best friend. Life has its up and downs and being able to share this journey with a supportive partner is a blessing.
    Hugs, Gronda

  4. True sanity reigns in your house, Keith! I love the pillows comment! Love doesn’t come from roses and chocolate, or torrid love-making, it comes from the comfort of feeling safe enough to share innermost feelings (that we always hide from others) without the fear of rejection.
    Lovely smile!❤

    • Colette, many thanks. You are so right with comfortable relationship. My wife likes to say the passion ebbs and flows, but the consistent, being there for one another lasts. Keith

  5. Note to Readers: My title seems less funny today. Rather than repeat some excellent posts by others, I want to offer my thoughts and prayers to the victims, injured and their families and friends after the tragic shooting in Las Vegas. I will write a future post, similar to previous ones, regarding the need to address gun governance. But, for now let’s grieve for our country and the citizens impacted.

  6. hey
    yes, i loaded this, read it offline at the new house, then was offline til the 5th…. wow, talk about ironic or perhaps precognition —- i told the owner of the house that i’m getting where i don’t like driving out to touch base with the world, as it seems to always be bad news… this is first page online and i’ve not checked to see what’s happened in two days…

    we had an earthquake, i think, during the night, so next is the search to see if it was in ecuador or colombia or – not…

    today’s internet will be fast – it’s a long holiday weekend, so i’ll wait til next week for most internet.

    hpoe yours is a good weekend!

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