A slice of The Onion

One of the  best satirical websites is The Onion. It is so good, world leaders, who do not know better, have used their satire as real news. So, with kudos to The Onion, here are few slices to taste.

Breaking news, President Trump has ordered 800 troops to surround a daycare center in a Detroit where three year old Muslim terrorists were presumed to have infiltrated the daycare. Per Sarah Huckabee-Sanders, children with brown skin, head coverings and non-Anglo-Saxon names were seen entering the daycare. Trump said these terrorists were invading the Detroit daycare and this could not be tolerated. More on this later.

At 11:15 am on November 18, 2018, it was reported by three different news sources that President Donald Trump uttered what appeared to be a truthful statement. An eerie silence was noticed in the White House press room as reporters were befuddled. Trump said the economy is going along well, but he is increasingly concerned about the growing debt and the tariffs he has imposed.

Breaking news, President Trump announced the US is not pulling out of the Paris Climate Change Accord after all. When asked why, he said who knew we were growing renewable energy jobs at such a terrific clip? Plus, he added he hated that the US is not invited to meetings with others to discuss energy.

After being pressured by Republican Senators, the US President said the Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman is responsible for the assassination of Khashoggi. Trump has previously ignored CIA reports, numerous story changes and the taped evidence citing Jared Kushner that Salman was a “great guy.” In a related matter, Trump has posthumously awarded the Medal of Freedom to Al Capone. Trump says the man created a lot of jobs.

These have been a few slices of The Onion. Stay tuned for future slices.

 

22 thoughts on “A slice of The Onion

    • Jill, thanks. Sadly, the real truth is more satirical and even farcical than anything The Onion could think up. You will be happy to note that the US President gave himself an A+ on performance. Keith

      • PS – Adding yet one more example of truth stranger than fiction, the US President invented parts of a conversation with the Finnish President as he explained why California has first fires. The Finnish people are currently mocking the US President for his simple reasons and made up conversation.

      • Jill, the areas where he gets higher marks, he has less control over as with any President – the economy. He provided some short term tailwinds and longer term headwinds. But, he was handed the reins on a pretty good economy with a long tail. Other than that, he gets much low grades, some failing. Keith

      • He inherited the economy and is doing everything in his power (tariffs, alienating our trade partners, etc.) to destroy it. It’s a matter of time. And with everything else … his policies have been far more destructive than helpful. And if he doesn’t stop tooting his own horn and patting himself on the back, I swear I will kill him myself!!!

      • Jill, the sad truth, per his nature, he will not accept responsibility for any economic downturn. You may have noticed he is already painting the Federal Reserve as an enemy of his efforts as the stock market has been sporadic of late. All things good he did, all things bad someone else did. Why more people cannot see that is beyond me. Keith

      • But of course, if it is good he will accept the praise, and if it is bad, it is somebody else’s fault. Like you, I don’t understand the people that are blind and deaf to the truth that is in front of their very eyes. I’m getting quite tired of it all and it’s definitely taking a toll on my psyche … even broke a couple of dishes throwing them against a wall the other night. This is not good!

      • Jill, please do not break dishes over this dishonest and dishonorable man. At some level, we forewarn and remind folks of the truth and hope a few facts drip in. His handling of the Saudi Arabia mess is abysmal. He could still support the ally while condemning the action of MBS and he is hearing about it. So, at some point, we just have to let his poor actions drip, drip, drip. It might be good to re-read the Serenity Prayer ( I am talking to us both). Keith

      • I have promised myself … no more breaking dishes. It was rather just a culmination of too many things disturbing my psyche all at once. Sigh. He certainly is taking the wrong stance in the wrong way regarding MBS, and I hope there is significant backlash from Congress, from the people, from our allies, and the press. This simply is wrong! And yes, I think most of the people who read my blog and yours could benefit from a bit of the Serenity Prayer. Thanks, Keith!

      • ‘Twas a quiet, but very nice holiday. Our friends were called out of town, so it was just the girls and I … and a 24-pound turkey! We will be eating turkey for a month, as it was intended to feed 8, not 3! Hope yours was great!

      • Jill, we have an abundance left as well, even after sending people home with some. We just had reheated turkey and dressing for breakfast! Keith

    • Lisa, truth is stranger than fiction. I am not surprised by anything this President. Some lies and statements are so very predictable. He cannot help himself. Keith

  1. Note to Readers: Brexit offers plenty of fodder for The Onion. Here is a go:

    The British took another vote on Brexit and have decided to merge with Canada. They like Prime Minister Justin Trudeau better, so he will be the new PM over the merged country. The only caveat is Trudeau insisted that Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson be traded to Russia for two cases of Vodka.

    • Linda, these purposeful fake news stories written by unscrupulous folks then perpetuated by Russians and others until picked up by InfoWars or Breitbart are scary. What makes it more scary when the uninformed President repeats it, then Fox reports and the President says a lot of people are talking about it. This is how he becomes the biggest purveyor of fake news. Keith

      • Quite true. I think the art of the delusion is “plausible sensationalism.” There has to be at least one foot on the ground and people will believe anything – such as Hillary running a child porn ring from a pizza parlor. Keith

  2. Dear Keith,

    Isn’t it amazing that whenever the Onion publishes something decent and right involving President Trump, that most of us automatically know it’s a lie.

    Right now, our friends on the other side of the pond are experiencing a reality that is equally turbulent to US politics. But there is no end in site for our UK friends whereas, we have the hopes of 2020 elections.

    Hugs, Gronda

    • Gronda, I do worry for our British friends as they worry about us. At least Theresa May is not a mercurial lying bully like the one on this side of the pond. Keith

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