If you give a mouse a cookie

One of the kids’ favorite children’s book is “If you give a mouse a cookie.” The book takes you on a series of steps after that first cookie offer. In this vein, here are a few meandering thoughts.

If you get your news from extreme talk show venues, then do not be surprised by the strange looks you get when you espouse what you heard or read.

If you get your news from the president, you may want to check additional sources as his veracity is highly dubious.

If you are too rash with getting out of shelter-at-home restrictions, please heed the counsel of Dr. Birx who said on Fox she worries about people bringing home infections to grandma and grandpa, something you will regret the rest of your life.

If you protest with an assault weapon in tow, do not be surprised when your message is discounted. If you walk into a legislative building with a firearm, do not be surprised if you are arrested.

If you say inane things, do not be surprised if people treat you with circumspect. Saying you will eat health care officials if they stand in the way of opening the economy does not improve your argument.

If you drink disinfectant to prevent COVID-19, do not be surprised if you end up in the hospital. Same goes with the Tide pod challenge or shooting your fanny with silicon to look like a Kardashian.

And, if you give a mouse a glass a milk, don’t be surprised if he wants a cookie to go with it.

10 thoughts on “If you give a mouse a cookie

  1. Can I just dial back there Keith?
    Did someone actually say they would eat a health official?
    The reason why I ask is twofold:
    1. I am having a difficulty the image of someone filled with such indignation that they assail at official with cooking implements, a cooker and a knife and fork.
    2. If someone did say that, are they aware they is a sexual connotation to the term ‘eat’.
    Either way it makes them look all kinds of stupid.

    • Roger, sadly, I am aware of two incidences. One is the venomous talk show host Alex Jones who said he would eat a neighbor if he had to. We should remember that Jones lost a lawsuit for mental anguish for saying the Sandy Hook shootings never happened and he is also the author of the Pizza Gate story where someone believed Hillary Clinton was staging something illegal at a Pizza store and showed up with a gun.

      The other is a picketer in NC who said he would eat healthcare workers. Today, the Ohio governor (who is a Republican) called out some of these jerks and said if you are going to pick on someone, pick on me. Keith

      • Crude warning:::
        So if I have this right Alex Jones has made a public statement saying he is willing to perform an act of oral sex with a neighbour?
        OK. Thank you Keith I will bear that in mind for the future. That will be my official take on him from now on.
        If there is one perspn I loath more than Trump it’s that snake oil merchant.

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