Oh, those dating miscues

My wife and children seem to love stories about my dating miscues. I share them to impart an important lesson is to always carry with you a sense of humor. Laughing at yourself, means the world laughs with you. As I have gotten older, I think on some of my miscues, faux pas, etc. in the dating arena.

My loudest miscue occurred at a community theater which was held at a church hall. The fold out chairs were placed on elevated choral risers to give an amphitheater effect. My date and I were on a double-date sitting on the back row, about two feet elevated. After intermission, where we picked up a plastic cup of wine, we proceeded back to our chairs Unbeknownst to me, one of my rear chair legs had moved off the riser. So, when I sipped my wine, it appeared my date was moving forward. To my surprise, I was falling backward to a loud crash. Fortunately, I was alright, but the whole theater and my three companions got a huge laugh later.

Another funny incident happened at this same woman’s parents’ home, which I had to tell her about later. She had moved back home for a time living in a basement apartment in her parent’s house which was outside of the city.. Since she had younger siblings, her mother asked me to leave before the night was over, so as to avoid their seeing me the next morning. Leaving the first night, it was very dark outside and the drive way was near a fence. As I sheepishly opened my car door, a horse in the pasture close by snorted and scared the life out of me. If I had to go, I probably would have. The next day I called her and said “I did not know you had a horse”

Different woman, same city. I was supposed to be on a date with someone who I had gone out with a couple of times in college. I had traveled early with some friends back to the city before classes started and asked her if we could use her car, so my friends could use mine. She said no. After driving thirty minutes to her house whose drive way was diagonally up this hill, I learned my request to use her car was offensive, so she did not want to go. So, in a huff I tried to back down this diagonal drive way. Bad move. I ran off into a rock garden and my car got stuck. While she fumed at me from the window, her father had to tow me off the rock garden.

Blind dates can be a challenge. After moving after college, I met many good friends, many of whom were married. And, what married people like to do is set single people up on blind dates. I met a lot of nice folks on such dates, but chemistry was lacking in many cases. Of course, this goes both ways. My favorite story is about a lunch date who was quite the conversationalist, asking many questions about what I did and liked,. When I said, that is enough about me what do you do? She said I am minister. I did my best not to flinch. I am a Christian and have been a church goer, but meeting someone who is already minister is different than falling in love with someone who becomes a minister. I recognize this is petty, but I felt I would not measure up and lusting after a minister might send me to the bad place.

It is funny how different one can become. If I met the minister later, I would have been more mature and handled it better. My wife and I met at the right time. I had been through dating some folks who were very nice, beyond the blind dates, but was not ready for the one. The irony is my wife asked me for a drink as our first date joining her brother and his wife. Then, she asked her brother to join us. He came alone and they worked out a signal for him to leave if our date was working out. He left and the rest his history.

Laughter is the best medicine. It can salve many funny situations. And, it certainly can remind us of our frailties and shortcomings, then and now.

26 thoughts on “Oh, those dating miscues

  1. Note to Readers: When in high school, I took a date to a restaurant whose prices even opened the eyes of my date. As we gasped, we decided to escape before any damage was done and quickly exited.

  2. I do love it when you tell these stories! Tonight, I desperately needed a smile, and you provided not only a smile, but a chuckle or two! Thank you! And I’m glad none of those others worked out, for I think you made the perfect choice!

  3. Haha, thanks for sharing these stories. I love imagining the pictures to your words. But I loved, even more, the story about the first date with your wife and how she included her brother. So sweet.

  4. Note to Readers: I remember another dating mishap when we were at a crowded pizza place. After waiting for 45 minutes, the over worked waitress got our pizza to our table, then was jostled and dropped the order face down on the floor. She brought a to-go pizza in short order. Shall we say we were hungry?

  5. Note to Readers: A terrible mishap was avoided, but I still cannot explain how – maybe adrenalin. After imbibing way too many screwdrivers at a double date prom dinner, we arrived at the prom dance before our dinner companions. When they walked up from their car, my date forcibly waved at them and proceeded to fall backward. For some unknown reason, I caught her one handed about six inches from the ground and stood her up. Maybe the orange juice from the screwdrivers gave me momentary superpowers. She had no clue she about planted the ground. We did polish up well for our prom picture, so go figure.

  6. re the minister: if it doesn’t feel right, it won’t be right. If you marry in a church (or anywhere other than City Hall), there is at least one promise you have to make in that most solemn place and way. False swearing there is sure to be the start of a bad work.

  7. Note to Readers: My wife reminded me of one more miscue while we were dating. I had said goodbye to her at her office after lunch and was walking down a hall. I turned to wave goodbye one more time and when I turned to keep walking I ran right into an opened maintenance closet door. My wife said she almost peed in her pants laughing. She married this clumsy oaf anyway.

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