Well, you’re no day at the beach either

Sometimes, you need a humorous, but truthful line to get a friend, acquaintance, colleague or relative off a rant about someone. I was out walking and I heard three women approaching me and one was on a proverbial roll. I kept walking after smiles and hellos, as this was one conversation I did not want to hear or a be a part of. It got me thinking of something that can be said to stop the rant.

A line I used to use more often is to simply say, “Well, you’re no day at the beach either.” To me, this is a funny way of getting the person to realize he or she is also not perfect. If he or she is even more reflective, the thought that someone could be talking about him or her in the same manner, might bubble up.

In my previous post, I mentioned a colleague who listened to a new senior executive talk about every person who left the restaurant table at dinner. My colleague said he was scared to go to the restroom as he would be the next subject of discussion. Having met said senior executive, like me, she is no day at the beach, either.

These two walkers with the ranting walker were a captive audience. It would be hard to exit, unless they said something like “I need to run some.” At parties, the exiting of rant-filled conversations is an art. Once the rant starts, the listener (or I should say non-talker), is looking for that exit ramp, be it a person, drink or restroom break. The unlucky person who walks up to join the conversation, will usually be a convenient hand-off as you gracefully exit. The deft person might even pair the two together with a suggested theme.

Dr. Wayne Dyer speaks of “defending the absent” when someone is on a rant about another person. This may not be the course of action for everyone, but it certainly is a noble pursuit. Defend the person who is not there. I think the more common tactic is the exit ramp example, where you simply vote with your feet and leave the conversation.

But, if you are so inclined and need a one liner, the title above will serve you well. It makes the person think. Having been a manager of people in my career at some point, when subordinates rate their own performance, almost always, they rate themselves better than “meets expectations” or better than what the supervisors rate them. Yet, statistically if “meets expectations” is normative, then everyone cannot be better than meets expectations.

It is one explanation of why people rant. The ranter forgets he or she is not perfect and has made mistakes. So, a funny reminder will bring the person back to earth. While I try to be diplomatic, my poor wife hears my rants or comments more than anyone. So, when a relative or friend wants to discuss politics, she will look for the exit ramp if we go too long.

None of us are a day at the beach, me included. Even those PYTs that need not worry as much about how they look in a swim suit are not perfect. Real beauty is more than skin deep. We are all fixer uppers, so we should remember that before and when we rant.

17 thoughts on “Well, you’re no day at the beach either

  1. Note to Readers: Something that seems to be more of a truism than not, an intolerant person usually requires others to have an extra dose of tolerance in dealing with him or her.

  2. The ranter simply becomes blind for anything else than their own anger. Unfortunately, they often tend to rant about something they got mirrored by someone else. I love the paragraph about Wayne Dyer’s quote. I read that too but cannot remember in which book. I tend to do defend the absent reflexively. I always feel responsible since they cannot defend themselves.

    • Thanks Erika. We have too many folks here that parrot stuff they read on social media. I was watching a commercial where the former president endorsed a pretty offensive candidate for Senate. Trump’s first sentence had three pieces of information, none of which was close to being accurate, but his followers believe his rants. Keith

      • This is the worst when people believe someone they don’t know and rant about others they don’t know. Social media truly is a breeding ground for such behavior unfortunately. I mean, who are we to judge when our imagination is our own basis?

      • Agreed. The example of being led to believe the human vaccine lacks veracity, but a horse de-wormer is worthwhile for fighting COVID speaks volumes. That is too incredulous to be true, but some believe that. Keith

  3. laughing….. “my poor wife hears my rants or comments more than anyone. So, when a relative or friend wants to discuss politics, she will look for the exit ramp if we go too long.”🤣❤️

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