Just a few truisms (and a word about Joe)

As my wife and I traveled to a funeral for an extended family member, I had time to reflect. on a recent post about the “Second time you die,” meaning when the last person who remembers you passes away, you die for a second time. The point of the post is how do you wish to be remembered?

My cousin Joe passed away after a life well lived. He was a devout man who loved his wife and family. He also gave back to his community, his church and his profession. One of three wonderful eulogies noted he was a “servant leader” meaning a leader is measured by how many people he helps, not vice versa. That is a wonderful way to be remembered.

Remembering Joe reminded me of some truisms we should not forget. Here are a few to digest and offer feedback on:

If you get up with an attitude of let’s make it a great day, you have a better chance of fulfilling that prognostication. The opposite attitude is also true.

If you have the impression kindness is a weakness, then you could not be more wrong. Reread the comment above about servant leadership. A great leader deflects credit to others and asks how can I help?

If you go looking for trouble, don’t be surprised if you find it or it finds you. Some people place themselves in harm’s way and are surprised when harm befalls someone, even them.

If you surround yourself with people who care less you about you and more what they can use you for, get new friends or acquaintances.

If you feel you are the odd person out, then you often are. There is an old saying that when three adolescents find themselves alone, one often becomes the foil. Don’t be anyone’s fool.

If you treat people the way you want to be treated, do not be surprised if you are treated well in return. A very old book called this rule “golden.” You can actually disarm people or lessen tension with kindness.

If you remember this saying, people will pay more attention to what you have to say. You have two ears and one mouth, use them in that proportion.

If you give to others, it usually pays you a psychic income in return. Feeling better about yourself, especially when you give anonymously is an amazing gift to you and the recipient..

If you put someone down to elevate yourself, it will usually come back to haunt you. One thing is for certain, the person who is being put down will always remember it. Some may be slow to act, but they won’t forget.

If you work for an employer who treats people poorly when they exit, get your resume together and look for another job, as that could be you someday. Treating people with dignity matters.

If you take away only two things – remember that golden thing and the two ears and one mouth proportion and you will do fine. These are just a few thoughts to contemplate. Let me know what you think. Tell; me a few others that spring to mind.

Joe, you are remembered well by many. If there was any doubt, I have rarely if ever witnessed a minister choking back the tears during a eulogy.

23 thoughts on “Just a few truisms (and a word about Joe)

    • Thanks Erika. He representef the best of us. Each speaker, including his sister, said he was not perfect, but then raved about all the good he did. He and his wife lost their only child tragically at age 26, so they devoted time to helping parents deal with grief of a lost child. Keith

      • That’s so touching to hear. Who of us is perfect? It only counts that we are trying to be the best we can. And Joe (and his wife) may have been role models in that. Thank you for adding this.

      • Erika, thanks. That was the gist of the last speaker. She said Joe and his wife epitomized what a devout spouse and marriage should be like. Keith

  1. Note to Readers: The last speaker noted on a business association trip, their bus swerved and rolled over only to be stopped by a tree preventing greater damage. She said Joe gathered everyone in a circle for a quick prayer after everyone got out OK. She was impressed with his devout leadership.

  2. Leaves me wondering when will Joe achieve his second passing? A conundrum really, as when it’s celebrated, by definition it is not. A second death passes unremarked. While rememberances remain 2nd death is held at arm’s length.

    • So, true. I think we need to record our elderly talking about their lives, influences, etc. Maybe we can continue some of the nice legacies of words and deeds of others. Keith

      • Modestly, in each of my children, I can see traits, values and ways of being which were inculcated by their mother and I. Nevertheless, each are very much their own person

  3. Joe must have been an extraordinary person and because of that he won’t die a second time. His legacy will most likely live on in all the folks who heard his salient words and reiterated them to others in their own words and actions. I particularly liked these two, Keith: Ttwo ears and one mouth, use them in that proportion. If you feel you are the odd person out, then you often are – this involves one’s attitude and mindset.
    Wonderful post!

      • I often think that I should write some kind of book in the hopes that my contribution to humanity will last longer. But then, it is the contribution not the memory that is important.

  4. The truth is you attract more flies with sugar rather than salt! So regardless just be kind, even if you aren’t met with that kindness! It’ll either piss em off or win em over! ☮️❤️😊~M

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