My wife and I have been married several decades plus some, so we have observed how sayings, actions and tastes can arc toward a common theme. Note the title of this post does not use the phrase “too long,” as that is big no-no for newly married couples whose husband has not yet been corrected by his wife. The same applies for same gender couples.
So, using the framework of you have been married a long time when….
- we hear a phrase or word on TV and start singing the same song at the same time. An easy one is following the word Argentina, we will break out with our inner “Evita” singing the obvious first line of the chorus. But, scarily we do this with other songs, as well.
- your spouse starts using a line or word that you use use more often. An easy one is seeing a cemetery, my wife will note my line of “People are dying to go there.” Hearing your words echoed back can be flattering, but not always. Or, she might say “Don’t say it” if it us not funny.
- we can define a restaurant, movie or actor without ever saying the name and it is understood. Just last night, I said about a TV show actor, she is that actress who starred in that Australian series about the matriarch who bossed everyone around. After one more sentence, my wife knew who it was.
- your spouse can raise a topic and you immediately know she is bothered by something. So, you listen. Since more often than not, she wants to vent, you just listen, not try to fix. This is the best advice to young couples, especially the husband, as men like to fix things – listen more, talk less.
- you pass to each other humming or singing ear worms. You may be humming a tune without really knowing it, until you hear your spouse humming the same song later. Why are you humming that? This is more frequent with all of the commercials using old songs to sell products.
- you share take out dishes, as neither of you can complete one entree. Only rarely, will we order two meals from a Chinese take out restaurant, with the exception of getting two spring rolls to go along with our soup for one and one main meal.
- you know your spouse’s favorite actors and vice versa, so you point out others who look similar that she may like.
What have I left out that you and your spouse do? I stayed away from looking alike, as people sometimes marry someone who has characteristics that remind them of their mother or father. So, they grow into those features.