Can we start this date over?

Mind you, I am far from perfect, so please remember that as you read on. Like many, I have well intentioned friends who set me up on blind dates.

Now, I have been married for over 31 years, so these dates were before the Internet and social media. So, my dates were truly sight unseen.

One of my blind dates was a teacher, but on our first date in June, she told me she was headed to be a camp counselor for the summer the next day. So, why didn’t we delay? It went fine, but it was a sole date.

One of my blind dates told me she had only one kidney. I found that to be in the too much information category, at least for a first date. It is a hard comment to respond to as conversation goes down a different path. She was nice, but we did not connect.

Another was very nice and we went on several dates, but I think I was more into her than she was into me. The excuses not to go out were more frequent, so our brief relationship waned. What I remember today about her is her cousin was a successful pro golfer and she was cute.

Another blind date was going well. She was very inquisitive and when I returned the favor, she’d caught me off guard. “What do you do?’ I asked. “I am a minister,” she responded. Had I been older and more mature, I would have been OK with this. But, at the age I was, having carnal knowledge with a minister was something I was not ready for.

A final blind date I will mention turned out to be rude. Even as a young man, I have always tried to be polite. So, irrespective of how pretty she was, her rudeness was off-putting. I could not wait to end this date.

I know I have bored the hell out of some dates or just was not their cup of tea. They likely have similar stories. I do know I am so glad I no longer have to date. My wife invited me out for a drink with her brother and his wife for our first date. She says it was because she had noticed me while on crutches. I guess I was looking pitiful.

Tell me about some of your interesting dates, blind or otherwise.

Dating dilemmas

Being a tall person, I have had my share of dates who were much shorter than me. I have even dated a few women who were under 5 feet tall. But, those height differences are very manageable and provide interesting stories. The dating dilemmas occur when something surprising happens.

Here are a few I encountered, some funny some not so.

Why must you be so rude? – the first example occurred when I took a date to Disneyworld for the day driving from my home 3 hours away. The dilemma is she was rude to other people, cutting lines, being curt, impatient, etc. I was captive while there, but could not wait for the date to end.

We really must pray before the meal – one of the funniest blind dates occurred when a friend set me up with a minister without telling me. I was not expecting the answer that she gave me when I asked what she did. She was a nice woman, but I was too immature to get past thinking it was a sin to imagine carnal knowledge with a minister.

Prom dates need to pace themselves – I think many of us have had prom dates where too much drinking occurred. But, our double date before the prom started consisted of far too many Screwdrivers. When we arrived first to the prom, my date waved with a big gesture to the other couple when they arrived. When she did she fell backwards and for some unknown reason, I was able to catch her with one arm, six inches from the ground and straighten her up. Talk about scared.

Did you like how I parked my car?  – when dating a college friend, I offended her when I suggested we use her car, so a friend could use mine. She broke our date after I arrived, so I tried to back down a long, hilly and angled driveway. I drove off into a rock garden and my car got stuck. My last sight of her was as she watched from a large window as her father towed my car off his rock garden. 

Where did that horse come from? – as I was sneaking out of my girlfriend’s parent’s house after she moved into their basement apartment, I was unaware her horse was in the field next to the driveway. At 3 am, while pitch black dark, as I edged toward my car, the horse snorted and scared the bejesus out of me. If a horse could laugh…

I guess my audition failed – this actually occurred with the above horse owner. We went to a community play where folded chairs were placed on raised platforms. When we returned from intermission, unbeknownst to me, one of my chair legs moved off the back of the platform. As I took a sip of wine, I noticed my date moving forward in slow motion. In actuality, I was falling and made a huge crash when I hit the floor on my chair. It was indeed funny and the only thing hurt was my ego.

Tell me your funny or surprising date stories. I am sure you can top mine.