I encourage you to reach out to your elected officials

This may not do as much good as it needs to or we would hope it would, but we need to let elected officials know we are paying attention. A couple of key themes:

• we need you to more consistently tell us the truth and value those who do, not those who don’t – sadly, the names of those who don’t are well known;
• we need you to make more fact-based decisions rather than what funders, spin doctors and opinion hosts may tell you and others – it is hard enough to govern when you use facts, but nigh impossible when you don’t;
• we need you to recognize both major parties do not have all the good ideas and both have some bad ones – one party has a bag of ideas with too many holes in it and the bad ideas are rushing out, a key reason they are letting more extreme opinions drive the bus;
• we need you to work toward solving real problems not ones spin doctors said will cause wedge issues and garner votes;
• we need you to work together in a civil manner using that Jesus message whenever possible that was so important it was called golden;
• we need you to recognize winning and losing an argument is secondary to getting the best solution; and
• we need you to recognize you work for us, the citizens of the country, state, county or city – use your time wisely toward that end and be accountable.

As parents, we learned long ago that who your kids play and associate with matter. It is a key reason we always wanted their friends to be welcome at our house. We got to meet them. So, elected officials need to know who they value and spend time with matter. Do you want to be known for hanging around someone who acts like a bully, denigrates people and is untruthful, or do you want to be known for hanging around someone who is a truthteller and seeks to hold people accountable? It is your choice, but we are watching.

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Happy Easter, too – another reprise of an old Christmas post

While I did not grow up Catholic, my best friend did. So, one of our rituals that lasted about ten years was going to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. One of the traditions of that mass was the Father would also wish Happy Easter, as he knew he would not see more than a few parishioners until next Christmas.

While fewer people are church goers than before and some check the box “none” when surveyed, Christmas remains an important holiday for the promise it brings. Whether you believe that Jesus is the son of God, there was a man by this name who walked the earth and spoke to gatherings of people of all sizes. He reminded us of four key themes among his many parables and lessons. And, these themes can be found in other religious texts.

– Treat others like you want to be treated.

– Help people less fortunate than you.

– Recognize each of us is imperfect.

– Forgive those who trespass against us.

To me, if we live our lives doing our best to remember these four things, Jesus’ words will help us be better people. And, if enough of us do this, the world just might be a better place.

Let me leave you with a true story. One of the homeless families we were helping did not know what their daughter was doing after school. She did not want her parents to know as they may make her stop. She finally confessed that she was going down to the soup kitchen to feed the homeless. To state the obvious, a homeless teen was helping serve other homeless people a meal each afternoon after school. Please feel to share this poignant and powerful story.

A Christmas wish – do our part to break down barriers (a repeat post)

The following is an edited version of an earlier post that remains relevant today. In the spirit of the Christmas season, it is worth a revisit.

Last night, my wife and I attended one of a series of “talks” around improving racial relations. It is a weekly chat sponsored by a multi-faith group based in our city. In essence, it is facilitated small group and large group discussions on breaking down barriers and listening to others who do not look like you do. It was well done and very meaningful.

To hear stories about small and large examples of racism is very important. To hear about how assumptions can be made and, if not corrected, can be become more concrete in the eyes of the beholder. Children learn lessons whether you want them to or not, even when you try to do the right thing. So, it is imperative to have open conversations about treating people like you want to be treated and listening to comments, so that they can be reinforced or amended.

Yet, it is we adults that need to do better. A few themes we discussed include:

– do not indict a group for the actions of a few;

– recognize that small slights can be hurtful, as well;

– try to walk in another person’s shoes; understand that a white person has more liberty to go anywhere, while a black man, even when dressed-up, faces more restrictions and risk;

– shine a light on hateful speech or behavior; tolerance must be viewed toward a greater good, so it is OK to be less tolerant of those who use words to demean and diminish;

– speak up and speak out to people who share your skin color, ethnicity, religion or politics who are indicting others who are different just because they don’t look, think or worship as you do (this is especially true if those who are condemning others are in leadership roles);

– be the change you want to see and see people for whom they are; and

– recognize that racial injustice is also the result of a larger poverty issue, which affects people of all colors.

There are many more lessons that were conveyed during the session, but one of my takeaways is this is religion at its finest. Welcoming, including and helping. Let me end with one more tidbit on how religion can help provide solutions and create a welcoming dialogue. Walk the talk. Words are easy. The person who gets up out of his or her chair to help people is admirable. The person who tells someone they not do appreciate hateful criticism of others is steadfast.

Jesus said it so well in his Golden Rule. Treat others like you want to be treated. If we do this, we are way ahead in the game. And, if anyone thinks they are better than others, the same guy said something about “he who is without sin, can cast the first stone.” So, welcome, include and help.

The Un-Golden Rule

Growing up I learned the most important words in my bible were the ones in red print. The publishers wanted to highlight the words attributed to Jesus. Some of the most notable red passages are often referenced by another color calling them the Golden Rule. One from Matthews 7:12 quotes:

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

Mark 12:31 uses different phrasing but gets to the same theme:

“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

In short, I prefer the paraphrase of “treat others like you want to be treated.” Note, there are no caveats to the rule. Yet, what frustrates me is when Christians and other religious groups place caveats on these important words. They tarnish the rule making it “un-golden.” In their minds, the rule reads “treat others like you want to be treated….”

-unless such person is attracted to a person who is not the same gender,

-unless such person does not know what gender they identify with,

-unless such person worships differently,

-unless such person is from a country that promotes other religions,

-unless such person is from a different ethnic group, or

-unless such person belongs to a different political party.

While too many preach some of these caveats as witnessed by the public splits in the Methodist, Episcopalian and Baptist churches, there are many ministers who see the bigger picture. From the blog of Reverend John Pavlovitz in a post called “Phobic Christians, while you have been bothering LGBTQ people…:”

“Stop spending so much time and energy trying to make gay people ‘not gay’ or transgender people ‘not transgender’—it isn’t going to happen.

Instead, try spending that time and energy, making:
hungry people less hungry,
hurting people less hurt,
lonely people not feel alone,
victimized people not feel victimized,
invisible people feel seen.
bullied people feel protected.
grieving people feel comforted“

I have often found comfort in the words of Reverend Pavlovitz. I even know of atheists and agnostics who react favorably to his messages. Just seeing a glimpse of his style in the above piece, he focuses on using religion as way to reach out and help others. To me, this is religion at its finest. Picking others up.

Per my bible, that guy who is quoted in red print tended to hang out more with folks who were disenfranchised. As a symbolic mantra, WWJD is a bracelet worn by many Christians to ask themselves and others “what would Jesus do?” There is a famous example in the bible of a woman being publicly stoned for infidelity. So, what did Jesus do? Jesus stopped people from stoning this woman by making a simple comment – he who is without sin shall cast the first stone. Maybe we should think about that when the perceived others are being stoned by the self-anointed ultra-pious worshipers.

If you are jerk, you better be good at what you do

There is an old line in business that goes something like this, “If you are a jerk to others, you better be good at what you do.” The corollary to this is once the value of what you do diminishes, you will likely be given your walking papers. Colleagues and bosses won’t have to tolerate your being mean if you don’t add value.

So, when elected officials, business leaders, and public figures are mean to folks, they better be good at what they do. Saying this bluntly, you better not act like a jerk and an idiot, as well. If you do, then you find yourself persona non grata.

The best term for treating others well is you create goodwill. Goodwill helps you through when you make mistakes or mess-up. Your goodwill will grease the skids for forgiveness or glean a helping hand. The person who is mean to folks will get fewer opportunities for forgiveness and help. Goodwill takes time to build, but it can be easily destroyed.

I think back on Johnson and Johnson who had this terrible incident where someone was unscrewing the bottle tops of Tylenol in stores and poisoning them. J&J’s goodwill helped them, but they also immediately sprang into action and invented the now common internal seal to bottles. Now, customers would know the bottles were tampered with. Their goodwill and compassionate fast action saved the brand and lives.

You need to look no further than the swift demise of British Prime Minister Liz Truss. She started out being consdescending and short with reporters who asked questions. Then a series of poor decisions required backtracking and eventual blame that was shifted to a colleague before he was fired. As of this writing, Truss’ party has given up on her.

Or, you could pick out several of Trump sycophants here in the states who are both mean-spirited and less than competent in their rhetoric and governance. This would include the head of the Trump party, as well. From a number of books by insiders, the former president tends to be mercurial in behavior, so people walked on eggshells around him.

One of the things I detest is smugness, basically bullying people into submission with a condescending tone. This is a style that the creator of Fox News, Roger Ailes, sought out in his opinion hosts – ones who could have as a guest a subject matter expert with an alternative view and beat the hell out of them.* If you don’t allow the other person to speak, the host would lay claim of victory, when in fact all he or she did was not allow counter-argument. It is interesting to me, that Ailes asked Roger Stone who he knew from the Nixon days, to help him recruit Donald Trump to run for president.

So, be mean if you want to, but if you are, then you better be very good at what you do. Yet, even if you are very good, people may still vote with their feet and avoid you or leave. And, that may make the mean person’s job a little harder.

*Note: This was the premise of the movie “The Loudest Voice” starring Russell Crowe as Ailes, based on an unsolicited biography penned by one of Ailes’ right-hand men.

This is inappropriate

There are many times I feel we need to return to kindergarten for some key lessons in behavior. These poor teachers have to deal with five-year-olds in larger numbers than a regular day care class would contain. The rules of behavior are likely written on the walls in large colored print and repeated often as a mantra and when needed.

With too many folks following the lead of childish acting politicians (we all know who they are and even their fans know), we have lost the ability to have civil discourse and amicably disagree. So, class, let’s join together with Ms. Johnson or Ms. Jones or Mr. Thompson and repeat the following:

Treating others like you want to be treated is often called a Golden Rule

Threatening folks who disagree with you is not good behavior, nor is it wise

Promoting violence to resolve perceived or real problems is unlawful

Rationalizing lies is the same as lying – sometimes these folks are worse as we know the liar is lying

Denigrating classes of people because they seem different is mean and shortsighted

As I have said many times before, Alan Turing, a gay man shortened WWII by two years and saved 750,000 lives per Dwight D. Esienhower – what if he had been arrested and jailed for committing gay acts which was unlawful in Great Britain at the time?

Dr. Vivian Thomas, an African-American man helped develop a procedure in the middle of the Jim Crow era to save the lives of babies dying from poor blood flow, called “Blue Babies” – some doctors at Johns Hopkins did not want him in the operating room; what if he was denied the ability to practice?

The Tuskegee Airmen, consisting of African-American pilots, were at first not allowed to fly combat missions during WWII. So, they practiced and practiced honing their skills. They got so good, bomber pilots began asking for the Tuskegee Airmen to protect their planes. Something about putting your life on the line does that to people.

Katherine Johnson received a Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2015 for her contribution to America’s Space Race, as the first woman and African-American to work in a room full of white male mathematicians who guided the space effort.

Nicholas Kristoff and Sheryl WuDunn have penned the difficult to read “Half the Sky” about the maltreatment of women and girls around the world. Treating women like chattel is not only wrong it is economically short-sighted as these communities are competing in a world with only half their assets. Women hold up “half the sky” per a Chinese proverb.

I mention these five examples out of many others as contributions to our planet and country have been made by all kinds of people. If we allowed bigoted perceptions to unduly restrict, criticize and denigrate these folks to the point that they were not allowed to function, the world would be a different place. It matters not how warply twisted and seemingly self-righteous one’s cause, treating people like you want to be treated is still a mainstay of the Christian and other religions. It is a sin to do otherwise at least how I read it.

We must allow civil discourse. We must give people opportunity. We must not denigrate them or their efforts. And, we must not tolerate those who do the opposite of those things to certain people, especially those who are elected officials. To be brutally frank, an elected official has no business conducting themselves in this way. If they do, they need to resign or forced to resign. Full stop. This is especially true when you have more extremists that follow their lead not knowing these folks are just spouting BS to get elected.

Two Proverbs I find of interest – a reprise

The following is a reprise of an earlier post. The gist is in bold. Please know as I mention below, all religious text is imperfect and biased as the passages were written and edited almost entirely by imperfect men.

A definition of a proverb that I find most telling is “a simple and concrete saying.” If we could be so communicative every day on matters of import, what a more wonderful place it would be. While we have English, Chinese, Hindu, Italian, Greek, American et al proverbs, I wanted to pull a couple from Proverbs in the Christian bible that resonate with me.

From Proverbs 1:7 – “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

I have often said that God gave us a brain, which in and of itself is a miracle. To not use it, would be a waste of a glorious resource and would dishonor Him. King Solomon, who is known for his wisdom, uttered the quoted proverb above. He said “fools despise wisdom and instruction.” People pray for a miracle, but often they have the ability to take steps to solve their own problems, if they thought about it more. In fact, I would suggest we pray that God give me the wisdom to determine for myself what needs to be done. And, if I cannot do so myself, I should pray for wisdom to find good help.

Some religions do not want to use current doctors or medicines to cure their family members. To my way of thinking, this is an insult to God and even arrogant, as the miracle you are praying for to cure your loved one may be the one standing in front of you wearing the doctor’s clothes and holding the iPad. I am truly saddened when I see a young person die because they are denied help based on a religious belief. Modern medicine is a miracle and we should use it judiciously at the hands of a capable doctor.

From Proverbs 8:11 – “For wisdom is better than rubies, and all things one may desire, cannot be compared with her.”

I like this quote as well, as God is instructing us to value wisdom more than personal possessions. He is encouraging us to become learned and cherish our wisdom. Coupling these two quotes together to me says, continue to seek instruction to gain wisdom and value it once obtained. I mention this, as in our country, we have an ultra-conservative group of people who are not valuing science like they should. The reason is it is conflict with our limited understanding of what the bible is telling us. When data flies directly in the face of what the bible is telling us, it does not mean the science is wrong, it means when the bible was written by men, they did not have the advanced knowledge of science we have today. In the Jewish faith, one of the reasons shellfish and pork are unclean as people were dying from the spoiled or bacteria infested meat for medical reasons, not biblical ones.

My point is we should not substitute what exists in the bible for science, no more than we should substitute science for a person’s faith. We believe because we do. I personally recognize a number of inconsistencies, but I also hold true to the good that is represented in the bible. But, before people jump all over me about the bible being a strict interpretation of God’s word and will, I would ask a simple question – have you really read all of the bible? Including the parts the ministers don’t talk much about that show a fearsome God.

There is an old saying “if you want to create an Atheist, have them read the bible.” There was actually a study done a couple of years ago by Pew Research; the conclusion is Atheists know the bible better than Christians do. If someone wants to read the bible, I would suggest they start with the New Testament and add in a little Proverbs and Psalms. Reading it start to finish will not be as comforting.

With that said, I would add that Atheists also know the bible differently. There are many things therein which are more parable than fact. Jesus often taught us using parables and often used agrarian ones because of his audience. Further, the bible was written, edited, translated and rewritten several times by men, who even if divinely inspired, were imperfect and who wrote in different languages and long after certain events happened. The gospels were written between 30 and 75 years after Jesus walked the earth. They were also men, so their biases are reflected therein. There are many good teachings in the bible, just as there are a few things that are not as applicable anymore and some which should be set aside.

God gave us a wonderful brain and we should use it to the best of our abilities. He did so as He wants us to think for ourselves. We have done and can do so many wonderful things to help people and advance our lives. Let’s pray we use our wisdom for the greater good. And, let’s treat others like we want to be treated.

That is what I believe. I would welcome your thoughts and impressions.

There are no caveats – a mantra from a help-oriented church

We were catching up with an old friend whose wife had passed away earlier this year. He is a devout man who sings in the choir of his Baptist church. His church is not an evangelical church as he notes their mantra is “God loves everyone.” He added, “there are no caveats.”

As evidence of their mantra, his choir will be singing with a LGBTQ+ choir at an upcoming event. I think this is very cool. It is a big tent approach to sharing their faith. They are walking the talk so to speak.

As further evidence, a charitable organization I was involved with has benefited greatly from working with this church. The organization helps homeless working families to get over a rough patch and place them in housing with a temporary subsidy and social worker support. The church provides space for the administrative staff of the organization and one of its shelters which can house seven families until they get placed.

In my advocacy work with churches for this organization seeing churches who focus on outreach to those in need is a joy to see. I have seen exemplars like this one. I have also seen some that are not so organized. That is unfortunate.

To me, there is a psychic income to helping others. The giver gets as much good out of the encounter as the recipient. So, when I see churches focus on being exclusive, it makes me sad. Using the Bible as a weapon to divide does not serve its mission very well. Using it to invite and connect with people is a far better message. The same goes for other religious texts. Inclusion is a much better sales approach than exclusion.

We should remember our desires as humans are the same regardless of religion – love and raise our families in a safe environment where we can feed, clothe and house them. That is the mission we should enable. Remember, there are no caveats.

Christianity without Jesus is an empty suit

John Pavlovitz is a minister who writes a blog that speaks to the key tenets of treating people like you want to be treated. He is not too keen on performance religion which is too closely aligned with politics. A recent blog called “Actual Followers of Jesus Don’t Want Conservatives’ Compulsory Christianity” is a good example of his work.

“There’s nothing more dangerous than professed Christians who have no real interest in Jesus. They’re rather easy to spot if you’re paying attention.

They’re usually the ones most loudly claiming things like religious liberty while methodically swallowing up the personal freedoms and elemental rights of other people.

They incessantly broadcast their devotion of God on their bumpers and bellies, while living antithetically to the compassionate heart of Jesus actually found in the Scriptures.

Their spirituality is largely performative: a showy firework display of culture war talking points and religious buzzwords that distracts from the truth that their lives are yielding almost nothing truly loving to anyone but people who agree with them on everything.“

This blog caught my eye as the key tenets of Christianity surround that Jesus fellow. Absent that, Christianity is just an empty suit. Gandhi once said, he admired Jesus, it was just Christians he was not too keen on. I understand his point as too many ministers in our history had a fear-based ministry, rather than a love-based ministry.

Teaching people to fear the other is not inclusive. Religious scholars have noted Jesus probably spoke four languages. He needed one language for trade as a carpenter, as well as others to communicate as a Rabbi and to his followers. Where he preached and worked had numerous types of people. So, he spoke inclusively. It is a message we should emulate.

There is an old line that speaks the truth to me. If you want to create an atheist, have them read the old testament. In Pew surveys on religion, atheists did better on biblical quizzes than Christians did. If you want to reach more people with a message of love, start with the new testament. That is the part where Jesus’ words are found in red. Those are where the messages of love exist. I might throw in a few Psalms as well from the old side.

Treat others like you want to be treated. This rule of Jesus’ is so important it called “golden.” It is also found in other religious texts in one shape or another. Also, he threw in a few messages about taking care of your neighbor and the downtrodden. Nice words and actions he spoke and he followed. Those are among the words in red.

If you are not a Christian, the last paragraph can still offer governance of a good life. Maybe that is the beauty of what Jesus said. Something that can touch others. Inclusivity.

Check out the rest of this and other posts on johnpavlovitz.com.

A solicited prayer for all

I follow a young woman’s blog she calls the Christian Tech-Nerd. Recently, she offered several biblical based prayers for various events or challenges and invited readers to submit theirs. Here is one I submitted, which is less biblical and more on treating others like we want to be treated.

“Thanks for sharing. My prayer is our leaders, both religious and non-religious, can act and speak as if they are among our better angels and not our worst demons. To me, it is poor stewardship when they act and speak like we tell our kids not to. 

My prayer is we can civilly disagree with one another and not hold grudges if we cannot find agreement. My prayer is we can be the best version of ourselves and treat people like we want to be treated. We are an imperfect lot and we all sin. So, let’s not forget that and do our best to learn from our mistakes.

I recognize this is not a biblical prayer, I just feel we have lost our way and we need to act better than we are. Thanks for asking.”

This prayer seems to resonate with several folks. My thrust is on walking the talk. Words are easy. Actions are hard. As someone who has worked with religious volunteers to help people in need, those outreach people are where that Golden Rule lives. Those are the people we should be following, not a minister or elected official who is using their power to act like a bully to denigrate others.