Tea for Tuesday with a spoon of Dyerism

My youngest son has exposed us to cold brewed tea using both caffeinated tea and flavored teas with turmeric, hibiscus, ginger, lavendar, orange or lemon zest, etc. The tea brews with natural sunlight over the course of a morning. What I like about them is no sugar is needed as the flavors stand on their own. So, it is refreshing.

So, get yourself a soothing or refreshing drink in hand, sit down in the morning rays, and let me share a few miscellaneous thoughts.

My wife and I are not Royalty watchers, but we did catch the latest installment on Lifetime of the Harry and Meghan travails. Realizing these kinds of things have a little truth mixed together with hearsay and supposition, there are a couple of takeaways. If true, why does the Royal family and their staffs spend so much time reading trashy gossip magazines? I must confess the only time I pay attention to these things are when checking out at the grocery store, but primarily for my own bemusement. The other take away is no matter what one feels about Meghan, there is both a subtle and overt racist element to her press that goes unchecked. I realize fully that the Royal family does not like to comment on the magazines they read so much of, but it truly is opportunity lost to condemn in strong times that we are better than this as a country.

This search for perfection in the actions and statements of people, entities or institutions is a futile endeavor. Let me save everyone a lot of trouble. Just like with individual people, there are no perfect groups of people or organizations of people. This would include those who are calling foul. Past actions are important, but we must understand a couple of things. Severity is important. Context is important. On the latter, anyone can be made to look foolish taking his, her or their words out of context. But, severity (and repetition) matters. Not to condone any actions, but saying something sexually insensitive is not as severe as sexual assault. Saying something sexually or racially insensitive over time is worse than saying it once. Also, how long ago did the infraction occur matters as does what have they done lately? This does not give anyone a hall pass, just asks for better scrutiny.

As an example, the Reverend Billy Graham lamented that he was in the Nixon White House and did not push back on the president for his racist and ethnic slurs. Apparently, Nixon’s colorful language was not unusual. Graham was in a better position than anyone to counsel the president on his words and tone. My guess is he was looking for any door to escape, but that is beside the point. Graham was embarrassed when his silence was discovered on the released Nixon tapes of conversations. It goes without saying, Graham was a very fine person and spiritual leader nonetheless.

I pair these two stories together, as we need more of what Dr. Wayne Dyer used to call “defending the absent.” When his children would gossip about someone, he would defend the person not present. His point is it is not right to talk about someone behind their back. Graham missed an opportunity to say simply, “Mr. President, I must confess I do not appreciate your tone and comments about others. You can choose to feel that way, but it makes you look smaller when you do.”

In the Royal family movie, they debated on whether Charles, William or Harry could react. Harry did on one occasion, but wanted to do more. But, truthfully the Queen is the one who should have made an overarching statement. “We are better than this. It is one thing to disagree with someone, but to denigrate someone because the person is perceived to be different is uncalled for and inappropriate.” It should be noted that 80 members of Parliament signed a petition of reprimand for these racist attacks in the press, so I am not just talking out of turn.

I am imperfect. I have said, written and done some stupid things. I try to do the right things, but sometimes fall short. But, I am not alone. We must shine spotlights on behavior we do not like, but we should also recall we have our own blemishes. But, I would suggest we do so in the manner and style of Dr. Dyer. He is one who would criticize privately and praise publicly. He would defend the absent, a very noble endeavor.