A few funnies from the past

My close friend Frank is Catholic and one of our annual traditions during our teen and college years was going to midnight mass. The priest would invariably wish everyone a Happy Easter as well, as he knew he would not see some until next Christmas Eve.

This same priest presided over another close friend’s father’s funeral. Having not seen the priest for thirty years, he looked the same as he did before, with a full head of thick hair. He must be in seventies, so I commented on his youthful look to my wife. She said what do you expect, he is not married.

Speaking of looks, my wife and I have long been fans of Tina Turner. Turner was performing in her sixties and still had a dancer’s pair of legs. When I commented to my friend Don that I hoped to look that good when I am her age, he correctly quipped you don’t look that good now.

As my hair has thinned, my older brother has been able to keep more of his on his head. When his daughter hollered across a quiet room, Uncle Keith, how come my Dad has more hair than you do, I responded because his wife does not spend as much as mine does. My wife agreed with my assessment.

Speaking of Easter, my oldest son’s Godfather Joe attended a large Easter egg hunt with us one year. Since the older kids would aggressively gather most of the eggs, Joe would be off to the side guarding a few eggs for my small son to find. It was comical to see him diplomatically tell eight year olds there were no more eggs here, so my son could find a few.

After college, one of our close friends was dating a woman named Lark, while another was dating a woman named Robin. Our friend Randy assessed the names out loud to both and added, it looks like I need to find me a girl named Con-dor, accentuating each syllable.

Randy always enjoys a good joke, yet sometimes he has to let it sink in. Going to  a game, Frank and I were chatting with Randy in the backseat about the lack of success of the junior varsity basketball team coached by Pete Poore. Frank said what do you expect when you have Poore coaching. We both chuckled at the pun and then about a full minute later Randy roars with laughter – poor coaching he shouts.

One of my favorite funny stories with the kids is when I was reading a story to my boys, who at the time shared a room. So, I plopped down on one of the beds and then bounced off between the bed and wall. It took an effort to crawl out of the crevice. The boys and I laughed so hard, my wife and daughter had to come see what happened.

A final story relates to my old boss who was working late. He had to reach someone who he knew was also working late, but had stepped away from his desk. A late night cleaning crew member answered the constantly ringing phone and my friend went into detail of what he needed. The man said sir, sir, I told you as much as I know, when I said hello.

On that note, I will say goodbye.

20 thoughts on “A few funnies from the past

  1. Note to Readers: Beware of fragile seats. Two stories. We invited a couple to our new house, but ate at an old table we got from my parents. The chair the male guest sat down on fell apart and down he went. He was unhurt, fortunately.

    As a long awaited pay back. We joined our son at two benches in a sitting area in a corner of our backyard. The bench my wife and I sat on collapsed like a house of cards. We ended up atop the wood on the ground, unhurt. My son’s eyes were priceless as we fell. It was too funny.

    • Thanks Peg. We definitely could use some. My wife just brought up my parent’s table today, so I shared my using it in a comment. She laughed when reminded. Keith

  2. Note to Readers: When I used to climb on top of the covers to read my daughter a bedtime story, she sometimes would have to wake me up if I nodded off to sleep. “Daddy, Daddy” she would say as she poked me. Wives don’t care for snoring, but daughters really put their foot down.

      • My daughter was 6 came back from a theme park weekend with my parents. She sat there at the garden table, looking pissed, and repeated: “I am so bored, I am so bored”. Her little brother (2) was jumping around and enjoying himself in a little paddling pool at the same time. Of course, he always listened what his sister said. He may have thought it was cool what she said and wanted to appear cool too. He leaned on the side of he paddling pool and shouted over: “I am so boring.”
        My husband shouted back: “Maybe that’s why nobody wants to play with you.” At least now, my daughter was bursting – and so was I.

  3. Always love a good laugh and these are funny! Thanks for sharing! Love the Tina Turner comment. LOL and you getting stuck in the crevice of your boys bedroom. I am sure it may have taken longer for them to settle down and go to sleep that night.

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