On this Halloween, I was thinking about what has really scared me in life and in the movies. I should note that nothing in the movies is as scary as what happens in real life. The only time it comes close is to show something that really could happen.
In a horror movie called “The Kiss,” about a parasite that would enter one body from another via a kiss, the scariest part of the movie had little to do with the larger plot. Early on in the movie, the husband’s wife was electrocuted in her kitchen as she fiddled with a shorting toaster at the same time someone spilled milk on the floor underneath her feet. The family had to watch her die, but could not touch her as they would have been electrocuted as well.
But, that is not even close to the seconds that seem like hours when your child gets lost out in a public place. My youngest son wandered away from us at the zoo when we stopped for a coke. He kept walking as we paused. Those twenty seconds to find him seemed like an eternity.
Or, when my oldest went into the restroom at the ballpark as I waited outside. He walked out a different entrance and did not see me. He did remember our assigned place to meet if we got separated and that is where I found him. These scary moments are burned in my memory.
Health scares make movie scares pale in comparison, as well. On my 44th birthday, I thought I was having a heart attack on my way to meet my family. Waiting in an ER room with wires attached is quite humbling and scary. I can assure you that you do not think of your job, but focus on your family and what you may not witness in the future and your not being there for them or watching your kids grow.
However, when your child has a health scare, it is worse as you can only react and make things better. You cannot take on his or her pain and anguish. And, that makes you feel powerless. Each time our children have had lengthy illnesses, issues or allergies, it has been a little scary.
I am writing this today as last night, we attended a funeral service for an 8 year old boy, who died of a rare brain cancer. He was the grandson of our neighbors and their family has been in anguish over his fight to survive. There is nothing worse for a parent than losing your child.
In the throes of his battle, this child taught everyone how to live and love more deeply. The service was a poignant tribute to this effervescent little person with a big heart. He helped others, especially his parents, live through this horrible ordeal.
So, the scary stuff is outside the movie theater. We deal with it the best we can with our faith, love and care. And, we do it one day at a time.
Note to Readers: Try to never miss an opportunity to tell or show your kids and spouse you love them. It may be a simple fist bump to your sons or a drive safely text to your daughters. Or, it could be a kiss on the neck while your spouse is cooking. Or, it could be remembering or doing something that you thought they might like. Life is short, so make the most of it as you don ‘t know when those scary moments arise.
every time I see my 92 year old mother I make sure to tell her I love her since I never know if it will be the last time I see her. she always answers “love you too”. good reminder, thank you.
Thanks Toby. Mine is 84 now and in an assisted living facility, so I do the same thing. Have a great Sunday and enjoy your extra hour today.
Something terrible happening to one of my children is my worst nightmare. My heart aches for that young boy’s family.
My baby turned eight today. I woke her for school and cuddled with her thinking how precious little time I have left with her before she goes out into the world. I want her to grow and thrive, but I will miss these days of her being mommy’s little girl. My other two are almost grown and starting to assert their independence. I am afraid to let them go, but I know I must, eventually.
Amaya, cherish those moments together. The memories last a life time. Thanks for your comments. Keith
I lost a nephew when he was nine to cancer. He was such a wise kid. He’s been gone about 17 years but the lives he touched still remember him dearly. Yes real life is definitely scarier than the movies.
Kim, he sounds a lot like this young man. I am sure his family will say something similar in 17 years. I see you have been busy. I have missed your comments. Keith
By the time I finish working on my novel I am too tired to do anything else.