A view up close of a narcissist

I worked with a narcissist for years. He was successful, driven and controlling. He was a good teammate if he was in charge, the quarterback so to speak. When he wasn’t, he nitpicked, naysayed and mocked other people’s efforts.

One of the several troubling attributes of a narcissist is they tend to be overbearing. They lean into people forcing acquiescence by shear will or from an authoritative position. A companion attribute also crops up, the inability to accept failure. It rarely if ever is their fault.

What I often experienced is a colleague would acquiesce to the will of the narcissist, day in and day out. The victim would do this for months or even a couple of years. But, eventually they would snap and lash back. Often the straw that broke the camel’s back was less an infraction than others that were accepted.

Invariably, the narcissist would say “what did I do?” and squeal on the protestor. This is akin to a bully complaining when someone pushes back on the bully. If you think about this, the tormenter finally gets what is coming to them, yet their defensive posture plays themselves up as the victim.

The person I am describing is a real person. But, when you re-read the above and insert the name Donald Trump, you see why he does what he does. He checks all the boxes of being a narcissist. It is never his fault and he blames everyone else but the one who should accept accountability.