There is a movement in some evangelical circles that has been picked up as a rallying cry. Women should aspire to being mothers and let a career be secondary. Let me first set aside this narrow-minded view in that many women and families don’t have an either/ or choice. The female spouse has to work and be a mother.
I have even heard some evangelical bent radio hosts note that it is an assault on masculinity for a wife to work. Of course, it is not. Relationships and marriage are hard work. Whatever combination of genders form the relationship, the people need to work together to earn family income and raise a family.
Single parents don’t have that choice. Half of marriages fail (go back to the hard work comment). Some mothers acted rashly in the heat of passion without birth control and are left with a child, but an absent sire. I read and hear often that parenting is easier with two parents. That is often true but assumes both parents are up to the challenge. In a homeless working family agency I helped with 1/3 of our single mothers (and often the kids) were victims of domestic violence.
But, back to the concept that women should aspire to being mothers first and foremost, the answer is they can do both and many have to do both. Those who think women are not up to the same challenges as men, here are four top of mind examples:
A female colleague of mine whom I shall call D is the best project manager I have ever worked with. D is a terrific organizer and delegator of work and juggled many balls while walking forward. D is loved by her clients.
A female colleague in New York whom I shall call R is the most knowledgeable consultant I have ever worked with on executive compensation for the financial industry. R has terrific customer service skills and adds a dose of candor to any relationship. Ironically, with a college degree, she had to start out as a Secretary back in the early 1970s.
Two of the best client managers in my old company were women, one in Dallas and one in New York. They were tasked with growing relationships with large clients and did it well. Not ironically, they worked hard and were tough task masters expecting the same level of commitment. Of course, they were called the B word, but they could outdo any man in the role.
If men feel threatened by successful, multi-tasking women, that has more to do with them than women. Being an adult man (or woman) has more to do with accountability and responsibility. It has more to do with being a good partner in a relationship to make it thrive. A lesson I learned a long time ago, the best thing a father (or mother) can do is love their partner. This recurring act will offer a great deal of security and comfort to kids.
So, to me this one or the other debate is just noise. In our practical world, you do what you have to do to raise a family and keep them housed, closed and fed.
musingsofanoldfart 
Shows you how tuned in to society these people are. They don’t know, they don’t care. 😠
Larry, former president Jimmy Carter, who knows the bible better than many, has noted in his book “A call to action” that passages about denigrating the equality of women can be taken out of context. This whole issue comes right out of that mindset. Keith
Yes, lots of people are guilty of taking bits and pieces from the Bible and twisting them to justify their attitudes and actions.
True that. It happens with other religious texts as well. Keith
Thank you. I started in IT back in the late 70s. I was turned down for jobs based on my gender, literally! I finally had to get my foot in the door as a writer.
Joni, sadly that happened to many women, especially in technology roles. There is a book about a female rocket scientist named (I think) Mary Sherman Morgan who said she was always the only woman in the room.
In my college major classes which were about mathematics, there were more than a few women who were very sharp. This was 1977 – 1980 time period, so some progress was being made.
Keith
I’ve been disturbed since hearing the commencement speech by by the kicker for the Chiefs, a young man of just 27 years. We aren’t born with these beliefs but taught. I feel my gender is truly threatened. Thank you for the post.
Holly, I was too. I was thinking about all the young women who had just spent four years studying to further a career listening to the speech. Yet, the idea of everyone having an either/ or choice is just out of touch. Most women have to do both. Keith
I truly felt those young women and men who felt it was so out of touch were definitely jipped out of an inspiring commencement speech. I agree wholeheartedly, after striving for that degree they were slapped down. Who allowed this speech to go forward? Not only does it suggest the stifling of women but IGNORED the fact that in todays world few women have the choice of limiting themselves to home making and children. It’s a two salary world for married couples. I’m furious!
Well said.
Holly, I left two messages with the Florida senators today. Scott’s message was to share my disappointment with his wasting taxpayer dollars to go to the current Trump trial. Rubio’s was for his sowing seeds of doubt in the election on Meet the Press. I told both as an independent and former Republican, we are pleading for leadership out of my old party and are not getting it.
Please encourage Floridians to call or write both. The message that scares them most is when I say I will not vote for anyone who supports Donald Trump for president. Full stop.
Keith
Note to Readers: One female colleague I have written about before I will call B. Her role was an Administrative Assistant, but she had better customer service skills than many consultants. She was also a very devout mother of three who she and her husband raised well. She knew how to get the job done, no matter how many times our company reinvented processes.
One of my favorite stories about her is her aversion to cursing. Yet, she would get mad. When she did I would hear her repeat these two words – “Bad word, bad word.” By the way, this pious woman had to work for the family.
This got long – sorry – I got on a roll.
Yes Travis Kelcie and your elite friends, I’m sure you do want to get back to the good old days – but I’d say this is pure MAGA and I’d say it’s because of the sideways move on the part of the US a long time ago – before you were born. In the meantime, the rest of the world has gone upward in so many ways since Nixon and the War in Vietnam.
Robert Gordon , a US historian, in his brilliant book “The Rise and Fall of American Growth” (2016) makes the claim that the US had its greatest century between the end of the Civil War and our military entrapment in Vietnam He called it the “miracle century.” The end of WWII saw a huge economic and population “boom” mostly based on the unprecedented technological leaps of the combustion engine and useable electricity in the very early 20th century, (Which allowed more technological and medical advances to follow.)
In the years after the War in Vietnam the rest of the world caught up technologically and economically and cars, computers and whatever material products we want get made in France and China and even Nigeria or Brazil. Quite often the products are both cheaper and better. Except in medicine and computer technology the US stalled out in about 1970 – and other countries were not far behind (think Finland).
I’ve not mentioned changes in attitudes towards marijuana and GLBTQ – but things changed pretty quickly there in the ’80s.
Meanwhile, during those same years – more people in the US moved to the cities in the 1960s than in all the individual decades before – there was a 10% increase in urban living. This included families moving to the suburbs and going to church and sending their kids to the overcrowded schools. The unions were getting hefty pay increases for their members (AFL-CIO, etc.) AND! The birth control pill came on the market in 1960 – Our quality of life was changing big time. Rock ’n Roll had come to stay, the hippies seemed to have taken over along with drugs and crime.
So of course those are the Good Old Days. It’s all about money and race/status and the MAGA people want to get back to the 1960s when women stayed home and the average man could earn to buy a home and take care of a whole family. (My dad did that on a teacher’s salary and 6 kids.)
And Travis sure sounds like a big bad MAGA
Along with continuing Civil Rights (which MAGA isn’t great on) , women’s rights became a big time issue and we were making huge strides. That was different from the ethnic struggles. Moms went to work again – (there wasn’t a whole lot for them to do in the city with two kids who were in school all day – most farm wives always worked and new mamas had their work cut out for them, but the stay-at-home mom fixing pancakes for breakfast with a fresh after school snack was kind of going and gone. Something most families can’t really afford.
But the poor MAGA people want it back. Well, that life is not for the working class these days. There are insurance payments for 2 or 3 cars now and housing is more than a 1-salary income plus there are medical expenses which aren’t like they were in the 1960s and ‘70s. Did Dad say he’d like to take the family on a vacation? – LOL!
This idea that women should be home is for the elites. Where dad is making over 150,000 per year, or an inheritance paid for housing, and other expenses are taken care of. It’s not for the middle class. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce can go buy a big ranch where they homeschool their 7 kids (with the help of a few hired people to come in daily). And he thinks it’s a good way for everyone? Yup – so do I, but only when the elites with their incomes/wealth pay their fair share of taxes. How does Taylor feel about giving up her career for what you think is the good life?
I appreciate your comment. I do not think Travis Kelce should be the object of your ire though. Butkus is the one who made the speech. Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are highly unlikely to be MAGA, especially Taylor, and she would not be with a man who wanted her to be the “little woman.”
Correction: the player name was Harrison Butker. I misspelled it.
Thanks Susan. It is Butker. It should be noted that the NFL has distanced themselves from Butker’s remarks. Keith
Thank you – I guess I read the article too quickly and thought ti was Travis and I am sooooooo glad you corrected me – I like Taylor Swift.
Me too! As I said I appreciated your comment!
Becky, with the exception of Susan’s correction to the name, your comment us accurate and offers context. I would add the US ceded the TV industry to Japan in the 70’s who simply took it over. The American auto industry also went cheap and made crappy cars, with Japan swooping to take market share.
As for this women in the home movement, it is being embraced on the right to appease the more strident evangelical crowd. I would ask though, what are the statistics in that group for two wage earner families? Are the arguing against themselves?
Keith
PS – The percent of dual income families per federal data is 53% as if 2021. It varies by location.
Well thank you, again!~. I really do appreciate the information corrosions and additions. And I get very curious about the Evangelicals.
Becky, Margaret Atwood said when she wrote “The Hand Maid’s Tale” it was a dystopian novel that would never happen. When Trump got elected and did his stuff, she was no longer sure. Keith
I love Atwood – I’ve been reading her since ??? – Handmaid’s Tale I guess – or maybe Cat’s Eye But I probably read those two in the late 1990s. I counted them up – I’ve read 10.
Becky, I need to investigate her other work. She is such an interesting person when interviewed. Keith
Note to Readers II: My wife and I are watching the series “The Tudors.” King Henry VIII desperately wants a son to be his heir and, of course, goes through wife changes to get one, torching one religion, starting a new one, and taking a few heads all along the way. Yet, as history tells his second daughter Elizabeth leads England for many decades.
It should also be noted the other two longest serving British monarchs were also women – Victoria and Elizabeth. Each offered stability and guidance. Were they perfect? Of course not. But, they are largely remembered well. As for Henry, he is remembered more for the above.
I find it amazing that people take umbrage at excerpts taken from a story book which has been interpreted by many people over many centuries!
But moving on, all men, women and children should be allowed, in fact encouraged to pursue their dreams. In my view women outshine men in many fields and should be paid accordingly.
Well said.