There is a movement in some evangelical circles that has been picked up as a rallying cry. Women should aspire to being mothers and let a career be secondary. Let me first set aside this narrow-minded view in that many women and families don’t have an either/ or choice. The female spouse has to work and be a mother.
I have even heard some evangelical bent radio hosts note that it is an assault on masculinity for a wife to work. Of course, it is not. Relationships and marriage are hard work. Whatever combination of genders form the relationship, the people need to work together to earn family income and raise a family.
Single parents don’t have that choice. Half of marriages fail (go back to the hard work comment). Some mothers acted rashly in the heat of passion without birth control and are left with a child, but an absent sire. I read and hear often that parenting is easier with two parents. That is often true but assumes both parents are up to the challenge. In a homeless working family agency I helped with 1/3 of our single mothers (and often the kids) were victims of domestic violence.
But, back to the concept that women should aspire to being mothers first and foremost, the answer is they can do both and many have to do both. Those who think women are not up to the same challenges as men, here are four top of mind examples:
A female colleague of mine whom I shall call D is the best project manager I have ever worked with. D is a terrific organizer and delegator of work and juggled many balls while walking forward. D is loved by her clients.
A female colleague in New York whom I shall call R is the most knowledgeable consultant I have ever worked with on executive compensation for the financial industry. R has terrific customer service skills and adds a dose of candor to any relationship. Ironically, with a college degree, she had to start out as a Secretary back in the early 1970s.
Two of the best client managers in my old company were women, one in Dallas and one in New York. They were tasked with growing relationships with large clients and did it well. Not ironically, they worked hard and were tough task masters expecting the same level of commitment. Of course, they were called the B word, but they could outdo any man in the role.
If men feel threatened by successful, multi-tasking women, that has more to do with them than women. Being an adult man (or woman) has more to do with accountability and responsibility. It has more to do with being a good partner in a relationship to make it thrive. A lesson I learned a long time ago, the best thing a father (or mother) can do is love their partner. This recurring act will offer a great deal of security and comfort to kids.
So, to me this one or the other debate is just noise. In our practical world, you do what you have to do to raise a family and keep them housed, closed and fed.
musingsofanoldfart 