Using your best toddler voice, say with me

Like many Americans and non-Americans, we are long past weary of the relentless lying and posturing words and actions of the former president. To me, long before he ran for president he was not known for truth telling. In fact, as Rick Reilly said in his book “Who’s your caddy?” about his stories caddying for golf pros and celebrities about twenty years ago, “Donald Trump cheats at golf right in front of you.” He makes no bones about.

That is as good a metaphor for his routine sales schtick he uses to mislead the American people. His lying and cheating are OVERT. He does it right in front of you. And, it is his modus operandi learned over many years of practice. In fact, in Cassidy Hutchinson’s book “Enough,” she said Trump did not mind being called a liar – he minds being called a loser.

Yet, when caught in a lie, sin or crime, we know it is never his fault. His mantra is to deflect blame or accuse someone else. His excuses are very much like a toddler’s when his hands are found in a cookie jar with crumbs on his face. So, in your best toddler voice mimic Trump’s excuses:

”I didn’t do it.”

“They just don’t like me!”

“They don’t want me to win.”

”They stole it from me. I won by a long shot!”

“It is all unfair. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

”She’s not my type.

”I didn’t sleep with her.”

Now, repeat them again honing your best toddler voice. This is what Trump sounds like to me when he offers his tiresome excuses. As for his sycophants and spineless rationalizers, I need to figure out a voice for them. I am thinking of a bully’s yes men (or should I say boys?) on the playground. They are around until someone punches the bully in the nose and he whimpers away. In Trump’s case, it is usually a strong and intelligent woman who does the punching.

These women get vilified for speaking the truth to the former president. Yet, they are like his Mommy saying now Donald, tell me the truth – you did eat the cookies, didn’t you? Now, wipe the crumbs from your face.

A force of nature – say and do anything, but make the sale

I was happy to see the governor of Florida do what he should have done two months ago – drop out of the Republican race for presidential nominee. He is a meaner version of Donald Trump, who for his many faults, can be charming when he needs to be.

As for Trump, he is a force of nature and not in a good way. He is like a strong tornado blowing through, where you hope to escape the high winds that blow hard and often. I gleaned many metaphors for Trump from sports writer Rick Reilly who around 2002 caddied for several touring pros and celebrities for a day, writing a book called “Who’s your caddy?”

A few that are apropos today include:

– Trump openly cheats at golf unlike many CEOs who covertly cheat. That is the best metaphor for his presidency and campaigning. He cheats right in front of you.
– Reilly never had to ask Trump a question; Trump would just start talking and if the conversation drifted away from Trump, he would jerk it back.
– Trump tells the truth some and lies often.
– Trump told Reilly he would be exhausted from talking with him after one day – Reilly said he appreciated greatly the silence once back at his hotel room.

Financial reporters who covered Trump said it best. He is the consummate sales person, but a horrible manager. The above could be summed up as Trump is all about sales schtick – say anything, do anything just make the sale. This is a key reason per Cassidy Hutchinson’s book “Enough,” that Trump “does not mind being called a liar.”

He reminds me of an old Cajun talking salesman a good friend would tell stories about. The truth did not matter – just make the sale. Except the Cajun would use the term “ah-dor” meaning “order” to define a sale. For chef fans, think Justin Wilson’s Cajun accent as he said “Grey Poupon.”

My friend witnessed over-promises and lies during a sale. He told his Cajun friend, we cannot deliver on that. His friend would smile and say “I know, but we got the ah-dor.” Get the order, make the sale.

Sales schtick is funny to talk about until you realize that trust matters more and someone needs to tell us citizens the truth. It should matter that a candidate does not mind being called a liar. That should be a tell-tale sign. But, a key is you have to stop believing the BS at some point.

My favorite example is for months in 2016, Trump told us unemployment was 30%, 40% even 42% at one point and the economy was terrible. He is sworn in a few months later in January and all of sudden unemployment was less than 5% and the economy was pretty good – it’s a miracle! Look what “Moses”  Trump did in one day! But, he got the “ah-dor.”